Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Male Perspective

As I'm not sure what the demographic of my readers is, I'm going to go out on a limb. Hopefully, my female readers will not hold a grudge, because we all know this is true & hilarious!

Raisin Brahms

For those that don't know, I'm quite the classical musician. I play, compose, and conduct music quite a bit and am a huge supporter of the arts. A friend of mine just showed this to me about 98 seconds ago, and now, I'm going to share it with you.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dead Island

We all love zombie video games. Left 4 Dead, Dead Rising, Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare, etc.

Here's the next Zombie Masterwork from Deep Silver and Techland.

Watch this one first:

Then this one:

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

D-War: Dragon Wars

If you are under 13 or above 13 and pretty intoxicated, you'll enjoy D-war. If you are a seriously dedicated fan of all kinds of brainless action films, you'll enjoy D-war. Otherwise, don't bother! I saw the movie today with my nephew and 3 of his friends. They really loved it and that made me feel good. After the movie was over, all the kids (my nephew & friends included) could not stop thanking me for taking them to the theater.

The CG is good. Acting and directing are horrible. Storyline is extremely simple. But, since the half of the audience were kids, they were screaming, shouting and cheering every time the dragons appeared on the screen. This made the viewing experience far more exciting than it should have been.

It's a good movie to take your kids to, but except for the final battle sequence, D-War is disappointing.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Stake Land

Jim Mickle has crafted a complete world of bad guys, vampires, and enough evil people to make the entire world paranoid. This is one of the most complete-feeling pictures I've seen in a long time. The characters really feel like they're in this alternate universe of Mad Max meets I Am Legend.

Also, you will learn many important tips for surviving the coming zombie/alien/vampire apocalypse. Cyclone fencing and chicken wire over your car's windows when you sleep at night. And garlic oil on your stake doesn't hurt.

There are some beautiful images in this movie too, with wonderful performances throughout. Now get out of my way, I gotta go kill some vampires...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen

Alright, this movie is pretty fun. Remember in Karate Kid when Daniel Larusso watches all those dubbed over Kung Fu movies? This is a modern version of those movies. China in the 1920s, Chinese Boss's dressed up in zoot suits beating the living hell out of each other, doesn't get much better than that.

Although, I warn you. Don't see this if you want a great cinematic experience. You'll be disappointed. See this only if your a martial arts nut and love Donnie Yen. The film has an adequate plot to keep it moving, but in my humble opinion, there weren't enough fight scenes.

All in all, it's a pretty good film with some attributes that I love when I want to just be entertained by Asians beating on each other.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Too Fat Polka

Friend of mine showed this to me today. It's quite a catchy little tune!

Sunday, April 17, 2011


It was a rainy Sunday and I went looking for cheese, but found a savory meal. Frankly, I was hoping to kill off a few brain cells in the mindless fun of watching a movie about a killer tire. Expecting something along the lines of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, I wanted to drown myself in delicious B-movie goodness. This coming from the man that cannot change the channel when my remote calls up images of Joan Collins being eaten by giant ants in Empire of the Ants.

Yet soon I realized that this film was so much more than horror spoof or a silly gimmick film. The movie opens with a desert road randomly strewn with simple wooden parsonage chairs facing in all directions. Next a car appears and begins deliberately swerving into the chairs, breaking each one of them, until it comes to a halt. At that point, a sheriff emerges (from out of the trunk?!) and knocks on the driver door where he is handed a full glass of water. The sheriff breaks the fourth wall and begins addressing the audience by speaking of the "no reason" principle of famous movies like E.T., Love Story and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This narration immediately reminded me of the criminologist from Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I suddenly did not know what to expect from this movie.

I honestly think the less said about this film the better. Suffice it to say that Rubber is one part B-movie schlock, one part David Lynch, and one part Hitchcock. (Did I just actually go there?) On my first watching of the movie, I appreciated its style. The camera angles, the homage to Psycho, the riveting and unnerving sound track were somehow quite effective in producing suspense. Quite remarkable when the serial tire is a generic tire! Juxtaposed against this atmospheric cinematography was a very healthy dose of absurdity and dark humor. This makes for an extremely interesting viewing experience, where the audience switches abruptly from anticipation to laughter to abject confusion.

The sheriff tells us that there is "no reason" for this film. What a deceit! Because there is a reason for virtually everything – from the opening scene of the destruction of chairs, to the irony of a Nascar race, to the well placed remake of the song "Just Don't Want to be Lonely" to (yes!) the turkey. Irony abounds even as our in character heroine proclaims that she cannot read the lines of dialog because they are garbage.

The second time I watched this movie, I focused on its true theme. I realized with delight that the movie is about movies and their audiences. Pay very close attention to every scene with the bystanders on the road and you will realize that the killer tire story is not the actual plot at all. Also, on second viewing, you can revel in the brilliant personification of the killer tire (Robert). A tire that learns, sleeps, recreates, dreams, and even has flashbacks to his previous inanimate incarnation on an actual car. Observe the film structure and use of the reflecting glass and incineration scene as key catalysts. You will be amazed at all you missed when first watching this movie.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Scream 4

Scream 4 should have been terrible - after all, Scream 2 was only "ok" and Scream 3 was a disaster. But Scream 4 is a very good movie, both as part of the franchise, but also as a stand alone.

It is far more self-referential than you would expect. Barely a scene passes without the characters referencing movie conventions. But it does so in what I think is an intelligent way. And most importantly (for our enjoyment) Scream 4 makes fun of itself before we can get there. Just when you start to roll your eyes, they roll their eyes.

But it also stands as a good slasher flick - perhaps the LEAST slasher-y of the lot so far (it can't be everything after all) but there are plenty of jump-in-your-seat moments.

The combination of old generation cast and new generation is actually seamless, again lots of self-referencing about that too.

The highlights are too many to name - but the opening of the movie will have you laughing far harder than you'd have expected to.

Overall, Scream 4 is excellent.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Captain America

Alright, I can't wait for this movie. I'm a huge comic book nut, and I've waited a long time for this.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Dark Millenium

Alright, I'm not a big MMO fan. I kinda play Star Trek Online, but that's only because some of my friends play. I've actually been waiting for and getting kind of psyched for the new Star Wars MMO, but now that Dark Millenium is coming, I may just gizz myself. Warhammer 40,000 has been a love of mine since I was probably 11 years old. I loved the table top game, I loved Dawn of War. But since then, the two Warhammer 40k console games have sucked. But now, Warhammer 40,0000: Space Marine is coming this fall, and Warhammer 40,0000: Dark Millenium has been announced at E3. Needless to say, I'm stoked for the Warhammer franchise, and can't wait to get my hands on these goodies!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Just Cleaning the Cobra Pit

Holy hell. This is absolute beast mode. Just another day at the office I suppose? 


I went into this movie confident that it would be a cheesy, campy romp with the same "tried and true tricks of the trade," like when the hero is investigating the creepy music coming from the basement and a cat jumps into frame, but I quickly discovered that this would not be case with Insidious. After watching the move and obsessing on it for about 12 hours now, I can honestly say it's one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. In fact, there were several points during the film where I screamed like a 13-year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert. Keep in mind I was consciously trying my hardest to keep my composure, mainly because I was sitting beside my girlfriend. She, incidentally, didn't make a peep; thankfully, I later found out she had her eyes closed the whole time. 

I was also expecting to see some blood and guts, especially coming from the guys who made Saw, but there wasn't a drop. Instead, they used just about everything else in their arsenal to scare the bejesus out of me and everyone else in the theater (my girlfriend included). From literally the opening credits, they created an intense, haunting tension that didn't leave my body till several whiskeys and half a Xanax later. And the movie constantly feeds that tension, making even the characters' mundane family life somehow seem utterly terrifying. I was actually exhausted leaving the theater from all of the uncomfortable squirming I was unable to control. I'd say it's the most calories I've ever burned while watching a PG-13 movie.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Source Code

Most directors tend to stumble for their second film, others far exceed them while Duncan fits nicely in between those two extremes and follows up his very impressive debut, Moon, with this well-executed thriller.

While this is more mainstream than Moon was it doesn't make the film any less thought provoking and exciting, if anything it exceeded my expectations. Based on what the film industry is churning out recently this film particularly stands out for me.

But all the credit shouldn't be down to Duncan. The script is really well written with some smart dialogue and a cleverly crafted story that keeps you guessing. Jake Gyllenhaal also gives a very convincing performance along with a great supporting cast that overall will make this film go down as probably one of the more underrated films this side of the summer blockbusters.

Friday, April 1, 2011


You're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, or at least that's what authors tell us. Well, motion picture directors would want you to not judge their films by the trailers or posters. Limitless is one of the few recent films to deny the misconceptions from its efficient marketing.

It's sold as Bradley Cooper gets smart drug fix from Robert De Niro then must defeat him through a series of cat and mouse games. In actuality Eddie Morra (Bradley Cooper) is a struggling writer/slob who acquires a drug called NZT-48, a pill that allows him to recall everything from the briefest of encounters. In minutes he is transformed from a guy no one could believe has a book deal to a man no one can do without. Door opens, too many doors really. Eddie's problem solving solutions end up fanning the flames of questions around him, and before long it seems that everyone in the city is after him. The intricate dynamics that weave this trail of lies is the best since Match Point (2005).

Enough cannot be said for how amazingly brisk and refreshing the production comes across. Nearly every scene has at least some artistic appeal. This is one of the more attractive films I've seen using the Red digital cameras and I have to give the colorist some praise for the warm palette used to show the influence of NZT-48. Thanks to the mind-altering plot, Limitless is one of the fewer movies where extravagant transitions make sense. Limitless has such a breathtaking pace that you aren't going to find the time needed to nitpick. Some of the action at movie's end is resolved with little plausibility, but it's too much fun to attack.